A Psychology Moment - Grief

Coping With Grief

What is grief?

Grief is a form of mental and emotional state that takes over an individual's response to a sorrowing situation. This can include losing a loved one, losing a job, losing friends, losing our own identity, or losing relationships. It is a natural response to loss. During this period, there are many strong and conflicting emotions and thoughts that overpower the individual making it difficult to cope with daily life situations. Dissecting this complex state of mind can bring us a step closer to coping with it effectively.

Stages of Grief

To understand this further, we can look at the stages of grief. Originally proposed by Elisabeth Ross in 1969— the five stages are:

-Denial: A defense mechanism that numbs out the feeling of shock and is usually present temporarily.

-Anger: When denial starts to dissipate, extreme emotions such as anger takes over. At this point, the individual can direct the anger anywhere, and it is not easy to rationalize at this stage.

-Bargaining: To broadly summarize this state of mind, an individual goes through a series of 'what ifs' and 'if only' scenarios; trying to understand what one could have done differently is the hallmark of this stage.

-Depression: By this stage, the individual is fully aware of reality, and as a result, all defense mechanisms are dropped. Sadness and depression take over.

-Acceptance: This is the stage that helps a person overcome this cycle. Once the individual can accept the reality and their reactions to the situation, they can function adaptively.

The key point is that a person can go back and forth with these stages. However, in order to cope with grief, having a fair idea about the stage one is at can help in dealing with grief in an adaptive and healthy manner.

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Coping with grief

Grief is accompanied by a host of conflicting emotions and thoughts. One may experience guilt, confusion, rumination, sadness, anxiety, fatigue, insomnia, and suicidal thoughts.Now that we know the stages and symptoms, we can look at practical approaches to coping with grief.

1- Talk to someone

The most important and effective way to cope with grief is to talk to your loved ones or seek professional counseling. In both these approaches, you must talk and express your feelings so that it does not fester in your mind. It may be difficult at first, but talking is essential for you to feel better over time. Talk therapy has been prevalent for ages to help a person deal with such forms of distress and is also effective.

‍Note: If you experience suicidal thoughts, seek immediate professional help

2- Allow your emotions to flow

If you begin to deny and ignore your emotions, it will only damage your mental health. Remember to experience your emotions fully and then let it go when the right time comes is essential. During this stage, it is entirely natural to feel a wide spectrum of extreme emotions. Do not try to avoid them by rationalizing or minimizing them.

3- Self-care

Try to bring normalcy to your life slowly. You can do so by following a regular schedule for meals, sleep times, and maintaining touch with your social groups.

Additionally, slowly indulge in activities that you enjoy, such as dancing, exercising, or hikes out in nature. It may take some time to reach this stage, but try to maintain some form of normalcy so that it is easier to cope with grief.

‍4- Listen to a guided meditation

Lastly, begin listening to a guided meditation on online sources like YouTube. The guided nature of such calming meditation will immensely help you quieten your mind. Plus, these meditations can be so supportive that you would feel a little happier by the end of it.

‍5- Avoid these approaches to coping

While you follow these ways to cope with grief, it is also essential to avoid specific coping methods. This includes relying on alcohol, drugs, or smoking. Avoid excessive or reduced sleeping or eating. Do not withdraw from your regular routine and social support. These methods are all a form of escapism, and the result is temporary. In the long-run, it will make you feel worse and prolong your grief cycle.

Remember that grief is a natural response to the loss at any stage of life. Accepting this state of mind and allowing it to pass is imperative, and you can do so by coping with it effectively using the practical approaches listed above.

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Remember, you are not alone.

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                   Taos Behavioral Health

Address: 105-B Bertha St Taos, NM 87571

‍Phone: (575)758-4297        

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‍                  Valle Del Sol of New Mexico

Address: 314 Don Fernando St Taos, NM 87571

‍Phone: (575)751-7037

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                National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

‍ Phone: 800-273-8255          

               SAMHSA Hotline                   ‍

Phone: 1800-622-4357